Ahh, the New Year. Thus begins again our eternal courtship with time. As a new January rolls around, I gussy myself up with new goals and spit-polish my new intentions. Honestly, by the time I have stopped habitually writing the previous year on every document that requires my signature, it is no longer January. My proposal to go steady with the new year becomes a rather belated inquiry : “ 2016, would you be my valentine?” The current year shrugs a little as if to say, “sure I’m game” and I confidently post on Facebook that I am “in a relationship.”
Like most people during the holiday season I was battling. I seemed to be in a constant tug of war with time and “to do” lists. Perhaps you have had this problem? The list of things to be done “mysteriously” gets longer and time is no longer loping along but behaves like one of the mean girls from grade school. Fighting with time is a terrible pastime. Exhausted by the end of December, I realized that something needed to change. 2016 needs to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated unconditionally of whether she is instrumental in crossing off things on my “to do” list.
The thing about time, is that when I am into what I am doing rather than into “to-doing,” time is a leisurely companion. This weekend as I was frolicking in the snow with family, attempting to learn how to snow-skate, Time whispered, “this is what I want.”
Now, it took me a moment because what was happening was me standing on the snow skate moving at a speed that felt like 50 kilometer per hour but was actually better measured in centimeters per hour. Also, there was some falling down. Repeatedly. Winter aerobics: stand up, tip over, and fall. So I was puzzled when Time said, “this is what I want.” The conversation went a little like this:
Me: Yeah but, wait til I figure out how to do this and…
Time: no that’s not…
Me: I mean right now, it’s not that great because I don’t know what the heck I’m doing, but…
Time: no I mean…oh please do be quiet. Would you like to know what I want?
Me: (rather resentfully) ok
Time: I want this (pointing at my snow covered self). I like it when you just fall and try and dust off and laugh and fall and fail and not try to conquer me.
I will leave out the rest because time used a lot of expletives and rolled her eyes in exasperation, but the general gist was that Time does not appreciate being conquered. Time just wants to be present, and included equally in all the activities.
Wishing you a Happy New Year! What are you going to do with your full year of time?